Letter #18

I met you at a time in my life when I had no idea who I was and what I was doing. You were patient with me, you were warm, and understanding. You asked me questions and gave me plenty of time to answer them. I tend to ramble on if given the chance, but you didn't mind, you actually liked it. Did you know what you were doing? Did you know that you were making me feel so comfortable with you and giving me a chance to learn about myself? You brought me back from a dark place and I think you are completely unaware. This is just one of the things that I love so much about you. You are honest, and kind, and loving. That is why it took my breath away to hear you say that you couldn't love me back. You said you didn't expect to meet a woman like me, you didn't expect to me to be so wonderful. But the timing is not right for you. There is still a piece of you that holds back. I understand this, I really do. But it breaks my heart to think that I didn't do what you did for me. I didn't bring you back from that place. And for that I am sorry. It kills me to think that other woman let you go. And it kills me to think you were once in love with her, or still may be. I hope one day you wake up with me on your mind and a smile on your face. And I hope one day I wake up and see you there, over and over again.

Charlie Brown once said, "nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love," and here is a perfect example. This is why I think falling in love is terrifying. For a while you think you're both on the same page and then WHAM! You find out that you're wrong. I think that this is probably the most painful sort of love. Where it seems like you've almost got their heart in your hand, but those last couple of inches stretch for miles. I wonder if this sort of situation ever results in a relationship. It's a terrible thing when someone wont let themselves love another. Especially when two people seem perfect for one another.

-Lauren