After we spoke today I was left feeling uneasy. I was panicky and
anxious. The overwhelming notion came over me that I let something
really great pass me by some three years ago. Has that ever happened
to you before? I feel like I had something really great for a moment
in time and I threw it away. What kind of person does that?
I know I have no business saying this to you. I noticed you’re in a
relationship and I’m happy that you have found a woman who appreciates
you for who you are. Anyway, these sort of things don’t generally have
a reset button, except maybe in a few rare cases, and I don’t really
have a good excuse for saying this to you. It’s just sometimes an idea
moves through me so strongly that I need to say it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you really are someone great,
and who ever you end up with are really lucky. And you should probably
remember this in the future.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Love Letter #11
Dear D:
I have known you for fifty three (53) years! In all that time, I have never stopped loving you! Even though at times, I thought I could hate you! However there is such a fine line between love and hate, that the hate factor never really filtered in to my feelings of love for you!
In a week, we will be married for fifty (50) years! It doesn't seem that long, but time has a way of creeping up, to keep us in a reality check! I look at you and even though we have aged, we are not old, and I still see the face of young man! I only hope you see the face of a young woman when you look at me! You did say the other day, I still had a pretty face, so, I guess you still see something of my youth in me!
We have had our battles! Some worse than others, but we stuck it out and here we are today! We do not fight or argue as we did when we were younger! I admit to being at fault for some of the battles, but I usually had a cause...the children! I had to let them know that I loved them so much, I would fight for them. Oh, it was usually something small, like fresh crayon drawings on a newly wallpapered room, that you had worked so hard to finish , or the dog licking peanut butter off of the woodwork, where I had smoothed it on to cover toy car marks on the wood itself! The oils in peanut butter would cover a lot of scratch marks on the walls when the kids were growing up! Then again, remember the night our son pulled the tablecloth of the table with your supper still fresh on the plate and they landed on the floor! Oh the look on your face was priceless, but you got up and walked out of the house "to cool off".
Yes ,Love, we had minor incidences, and there were times when jealousy would crop up into our lives and doubt would be our enemy! An enemy that would soon recover and we would be on the road to fifty years once more!!! We had faith in each other, and sometimes, it's not so much love, as it is respect and caring.
When I came down with that terrible illness two years ago, where you and the "kids" were in great fear that I was dying and you took such wonderful care of me! I don't have many memories of being that sick, but I remember opening my eyes one day, to see you sitting by my bed and tears rolling down your cheeks. You did everything for me that I needed to have done! I couldn't dress myself with out your help. I had to sit in a wheel chair for weeks and then had to learn to use a walker and I am just now giving up my cane! IT was because of you and your love that I am where I am today!
The first night I was home after my nursing home stay, you put me into bed, lifting my legs and covering me. Then you got into bed beside me, and pulled me over into the safety of your arms and I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SAFE! For ten weeks , I lived in fear while others took "care" of me. But, now, I knew I would be alright!
One day in the nursing home,You promised to dance with me on our fiftieth anniversay and now I look forward to that one dance. It may take place in the kitchen, but I know we will have that dance.
Thank you for fifty three (53) of the best years of my life!
All my love.............J
I will be seventy (70) years old in a few weeks and my husband just turned seventy two (72) years old, As I mentioned in my letter, I have AGED, but I refuse to grow old! We were married on April 4, 1959!
Lets all give a hand to D&J for making love last for 53 years! With more than half of all marriages today ending in splitsville, this couple really makes you wonder what people are doing differently today versus what they were doing back in the day (on April 4, 1959 to be exact) to make a union between two people so different. I think maybe part of that secret, and this is coming from someone who is a) not married and b) hasn't been in a relationship for a whiiiile - but maybe its acknowledging that you're not always going to be head over heels for this person, maybe like J said, there is a little hate to making love so damn sweet.
Another thing that J touches upon, that I always kinda wondered about, is aging and what a person sees when they look at their partner as time wears on. I have known my mom for almost 23 years, and I guess when I look at her, for example (sorry, mom) I don't see how she has changed from when I was five - the way she looks and the image of her in my mind has changed with her over the years. But I can't help but wonder and shrug, when attraction may have some part in the way someone physically looks, does that affect things? That could be a fairly shallow question to ask, but I'm just curious. I would like to guesstimate that you find parts about that person that are deeper than how they look on the surface that that takes over physical attraction, but is that how it is? I have no clue but maybe there is someone out there reading this now with my answer. If you reply to this, I could potentially post your response.
In your experience, how does aging affect love or a marriage - if it has any impact at all?
- Amber
I have known you for fifty three (53) years! In all that time, I have never stopped loving you! Even though at times, I thought I could hate you! However there is such a fine line between love and hate, that the hate factor never really filtered in to my feelings of love for you!
In a week, we will be married for fifty (50) years! It doesn't seem that long, but time has a way of creeping up, to keep us in a reality check! I look at you and even though we have aged, we are not old, and I still see the face of young man! I only hope you see the face of a young woman when you look at me! You did say the other day, I still had a pretty face, so, I guess you still see something of my youth in me!
We have had our battles! Some worse than others, but we stuck it out and here we are today! We do not fight or argue as we did when we were younger! I admit to being at fault for some of the battles, but I usually had a cause...the children! I had to let them know that I loved them so much, I would fight for them. Oh, it was usually something small, like fresh crayon drawings on a newly wallpapered room, that you had worked so hard to finish , or the dog licking peanut butter off of the woodwork, where I had smoothed it on to cover toy car marks on the wood itself! The oils in peanut butter would cover a lot of scratch marks on the walls when the kids were growing up! Then again, remember the night our son pulled the tablecloth of the table with your supper still fresh on the plate and they landed on the floor! Oh the look on your face was priceless, but you got up and walked out of the house "to cool off".
Yes ,Love, we had minor incidences, and there were times when jealousy would crop up into our lives and doubt would be our enemy! An enemy that would soon recover and we would be on the road to fifty years once more!!! We had faith in each other, and sometimes, it's not so much love, as it is respect and caring.
When I came down with that terrible illness two years ago, where you and the "kids" were in great fear that I was dying and you took such wonderful care of me! I don't have many memories of being that sick, but I remember opening my eyes one day, to see you sitting by my bed and tears rolling down your cheeks. You did everything for me that I needed to have done! I couldn't dress myself with out your help. I had to sit in a wheel chair for weeks and then had to learn to use a walker and I am just now giving up my cane! IT was because of you and your love that I am where I am today!
The first night I was home after my nursing home stay, you put me into bed, lifting my legs and covering me. Then you got into bed beside me, and pulled me over into the safety of your arms and I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SAFE! For ten weeks , I lived in fear while others took "care" of me. But, now, I knew I would be alright!
One day in the nursing home,You promised to dance with me on our fiftieth anniversay and now I look forward to that one dance. It may take place in the kitchen, but I know we will have that dance.
Thank you for fifty three (53) of the best years of my life!
All my love.............J
I will be seventy (70) years old in a few weeks and my husband just turned seventy two (72) years old, As I mentioned in my letter, I have AGED, but I refuse to grow old! We were married on April 4, 1959!
Lets all give a hand to D&J for making love last for 53 years! With more than half of all marriages today ending in splitsville, this couple really makes you wonder what people are doing differently today versus what they were doing back in the day (on April 4, 1959 to be exact) to make a union between two people so different. I think maybe part of that secret, and this is coming from someone who is a) not married and b) hasn't been in a relationship for a whiiiile - but maybe its acknowledging that you're not always going to be head over heels for this person, maybe like J said, there is a little hate to making love so damn sweet.
Another thing that J touches upon, that I always kinda wondered about, is aging and what a person sees when they look at their partner as time wears on. I have known my mom for almost 23 years, and I guess when I look at her, for example (sorry, mom) I don't see how she has changed from when I was five - the way she looks and the image of her in my mind has changed with her over the years. But I can't help but wonder and shrug, when attraction may have some part in the way someone physically looks, does that affect things? That could be a fairly shallow question to ask, but I'm just curious. I would like to guesstimate that you find parts about that person that are deeper than how they look on the surface that that takes over physical attraction, but is that how it is? I have no clue but maybe there is someone out there reading this now with my answer. If you reply to this, I could potentially post your response.
In your experience, how does aging affect love or a marriage - if it has any impact at all?
- Amber
Friday, April 3, 2009
Letter #10
There's this woman that I spent two years of my life with in a relationship and even more years being her best friend. There is NO one like her in this world. She is perfect, amazing, bright, gorgeous, intelligent and well rounded. She is the love of my life, my soul mate. We are no longer together and it has been about a year since we were. Everyday I wake up and hope that maybe that day will be the day I hear from her. Every time I do hear from her I know its only a matter of time till she runs away again. I cant blame her. In retrospect the relationship was pretty awful but never once did that change my mind, I always knew that I loved her and she in return loved me. Maybe it was too soon, we were too young, I was too blind, or maybe it was a challenge that we didnt persevere through together. I did some things that I am still trying to forgive myself
for, some things that for the rest of my life I will have to ask myself "what if". The fact of the matter is I cant change any of it now and neither can she but there is a burning desire in me to try again because when I say there is NO ONE like her I mean it. I never was a person that believed in much, but after finding her I believed in myself, i believed in the power of love, and i believed in soul mates. I always thought that the word soul mate was a little too cliché for my liking or for my finding. Sadly I was wrong and not only was I wrong I foolishly lost my very own soul mate. When I am around her it feels like I am complete in every sense of the word. There's a pull between us that acts like two magnets, I cant see her without staring into her eyes and falling harder each time. It has taken me so long to get over her and a part of me doesnt want to let go even still. In my mind there's a reason that I am torturing myself, hanging on to nothing because maybe just maybe if I do some day she will forgive me and come back. The reality of that happening... who knows but I know that I am missing her, desperately and for now I am willing to go through the pain of not knowing and through the pain of maybe even never
having another chance to do better but if I let go now I let go of forever.
love always,
23 Western MA
for, some things that for the rest of my life I will have to ask myself "what if". The fact of the matter is I cant change any of it now and neither can she but there is a burning desire in me to try again because when I say there is NO ONE like her I mean it. I never was a person that believed in much, but after finding her I believed in myself, i believed in the power of love, and i believed in soul mates. I always thought that the word soul mate was a little too cliché for my liking or for my finding. Sadly I was wrong and not only was I wrong I foolishly lost my very own soul mate. When I am around her it feels like I am complete in every sense of the word. There's a pull between us that acts like two magnets, I cant see her without staring into her eyes and falling harder each time. It has taken me so long to get over her and a part of me doesnt want to let go even still. In my mind there's a reason that I am torturing myself, hanging on to nothing because maybe just maybe if I do some day she will forgive me and come back. The reality of that happening... who knows but I know that I am missing her, desperately and for now I am willing to go through the pain of not knowing and through the pain of maybe even never
having another chance to do better but if I let go now I let go of forever.
love always,
23 Western MA
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Letter # 9
its 4am and I cant sleep, I keep thinking and its keeping me awake. Basically this is me being really full out honest with you. If that ruins our friendship then so be it. I'd rather be honest. Since the 4th its been really good - I've been able to really separate myself from the situation - from the summer, thus far. Obviously its difficult but I was all ready to do it. I got used to the idea of hooking up with someone else or whatever - coming to terms with the notion that no matter how much you want something, sometimes life just doesn't hand you the right opportunities. But after yesterday and the fact that you kissed me, I decided I was going to fight for it, regardless of whether you want me to or not. And so, consider this my form of fighting - words on paper, which is making me so nervous - cause I don't know what you'll say to respond. For all I know, this could singe handedly terminate EVERYTHING but if you could tell me how you felt about having a kid then I figure I have this to throw out there. Ok so... I cant continue this if we're going to continue hooking up with no commitment.
Here's why.
I'm not someone you're committed to- which means you could go fuck anyone you wanted and I wouldn't get to say a damn thing about it & you know I could do the same thing but I also know [that] you know I wouldn't do it.
At the end of the day you're really all I want. It's been a month, not even, and I can say that. Maybe you don't even need a month, maybe it takes only an instant, maybe you know long before anything even happens. Like its just a feeling you have saved up until its the right time to feel it. I didn't feel it til tonight after you left - like really felt it. Despite the ridiculous signs - everything piecing together like a puzzle - you seriously make me elated when we're together. I never laugh harder, or feel comfortable enough to tell you things. I know you must feel the same on some level. You have to, or else I wouldn't feel this way. It sucks, I know you're just not there yet - you also have unfinished business at school and I get that - you cant or don't want to be with me... all the stuff that's hindering anything to run smoothly this summer. I feel as though i can respect all of that, but at the same time, Im not sure if I'm going to be able to be the "best friend." I'll always feel not good enough to be the one person who gets the privilege to "get you" (as in understand you), and that will suck. Because you totally get me. Like NO ONE does. Its the fucking scariest thing in the world but at the same time so relieving because I never thought someone could. I don't have to explain why, you know why. Its just always there in front of us, all the reasons, all the signs.
I really hope you aren't so freaked out and running for the door right now. I just really have to get this out... before I do something rash or just let it build up inside. You literally walked into my life and turned everything around. I NEVER wanted a relationship and now I'm afraid if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity, I'm gonna always wonder. I think WE'LL always wonder. I just... I don't even know. The friends thing sounded/seemed great. I wish it would work. But lets just be honest. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's so much more than a friendship, and then every day its a constant reminder that I can't meet your standards or that life's just always not allowing us time for anything. I love you - as a person. Every mannerism and every feature of your personality clicks with mine. I'm scared of FALLING IN LOVE with you. I'm not there but I could be. I think you could be. MAYBE it will be years BUT the more I think about how perfectly our lives latch on to one anothers, I cant help but assume there's gonna be much more to our duo than just these summer months. I just really don't know how or why tonight I came to this conclusion but like.... you're really just someone I never expected to be capable of sweeping me off my feet but you did. You really really did, This kind of connection doesn't happen often - probably rare if it happens multiple times to the same person. All denial aside, all stupid baggage of life aside, if you just put me and you together, it makes sense.
You and I make sense.
Consider this letter my fighting chance. Cut me off now if you really think that's what's best. I will take the friendship, hands down no question.... but you deserved to know exactly what I was feeling... so just know when you finish reading this, I'll be at my most vulnerable. So be careful with me.
Wow. This letter really hit a soft spot in me. I wish that someone would tell all of us that the whole "friends with benefits" things is the worst idea in the world and to never ever try it; but somehow I think we would anyway.
This same exact scenario happened to me about two and a half years ago or so, but with slight variations. I fell for the guy I was fooling around with, and I stupidly thought he was falling for me too. That wasn't the case. In a nutshell, I tortured myself for a very long time over it. The worst part was that I couldn't bring myself to stop seeing him because I wanted to be near him so badly. Thankfully, all things good and bad must come to an end. I haven't seen him in a year and a half. GOD that feels good!
I need to be completely honest here. From hearing the same situation explained to me by friends and from experiencing it myself, a relationship almost never forms from friends with benefits. Sweetie, I wish you the best of luck here; and I want to give you my honest advice. Agh, this is like a double-edged sword. If you be completely honest with him now, you might scare him off but save yourself the world of hurt me and many other women have gone through. If you really truly believe that he might come around, wait it out a little while longer and see what happens. Try to ease into it. My biggest mistake was trying to turn it into something it wasn't too soon (I think.) Good luck! Let me know what happens.
-Lauren
Here's why.
I'm not someone you're committed to- which means you could go fuck anyone you wanted and I wouldn't get to say a damn thing about it & you know I could do the same thing but I also know [that] you know I wouldn't do it.
At the end of the day you're really all I want. It's been a month, not even, and I can say that. Maybe you don't even need a month, maybe it takes only an instant, maybe you know long before anything even happens. Like its just a feeling you have saved up until its the right time to feel it. I didn't feel it til tonight after you left - like really felt it. Despite the ridiculous signs - everything piecing together like a puzzle - you seriously make me elated when we're together. I never laugh harder, or feel comfortable enough to tell you things. I know you must feel the same on some level. You have to, or else I wouldn't feel this way. It sucks, I know you're just not there yet - you also have unfinished business at school and I get that - you cant or don't want to be with me... all the stuff that's hindering anything to run smoothly this summer. I feel as though i can respect all of that, but at the same time, Im not sure if I'm going to be able to be the "best friend." I'll always feel not good enough to be the one person who gets the privilege to "get you" (as in understand you), and that will suck. Because you totally get me. Like NO ONE does. Its the fucking scariest thing in the world but at the same time so relieving because I never thought someone could. I don't have to explain why, you know why. Its just always there in front of us, all the reasons, all the signs.
I really hope you aren't so freaked out and running for the door right now. I just really have to get this out... before I do something rash or just let it build up inside. You literally walked into my life and turned everything around. I NEVER wanted a relationship and now I'm afraid if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity, I'm gonna always wonder. I think WE'LL always wonder. I just... I don't even know. The friends thing sounded/seemed great. I wish it would work. But lets just be honest. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's so much more than a friendship, and then every day its a constant reminder that I can't meet your standards or that life's just always not allowing us time for anything. I love you - as a person. Every mannerism and every feature of your personality clicks with mine. I'm scared of FALLING IN LOVE with you. I'm not there but I could be. I think you could be. MAYBE it will be years BUT the more I think about how perfectly our lives latch on to one anothers, I cant help but assume there's gonna be much more to our duo than just these summer months. I just really don't know how or why tonight I came to this conclusion but like.... you're really just someone I never expected to be capable of sweeping me off my feet but you did. You really really did, This kind of connection doesn't happen often - probably rare if it happens multiple times to the same person. All denial aside, all stupid baggage of life aside, if you just put me and you together, it makes sense.
You and I make sense.
Consider this letter my fighting chance. Cut me off now if you really think that's what's best. I will take the friendship, hands down no question.... but you deserved to know exactly what I was feeling... so just know when you finish reading this, I'll be at my most vulnerable. So be careful with me.
Wow. This letter really hit a soft spot in me. I wish that someone would tell all of us that the whole "friends with benefits" things is the worst idea in the world and to never ever try it; but somehow I think we would anyway.
This same exact scenario happened to me about two and a half years ago or so, but with slight variations. I fell for the guy I was fooling around with, and I stupidly thought he was falling for me too. That wasn't the case. In a nutshell, I tortured myself for a very long time over it. The worst part was that I couldn't bring myself to stop seeing him because I wanted to be near him so badly. Thankfully, all things good and bad must come to an end. I haven't seen him in a year and a half. GOD that feels good!
I need to be completely honest here. From hearing the same situation explained to me by friends and from experiencing it myself, a relationship almost never forms from friends with benefits. Sweetie, I wish you the best of luck here; and I want to give you my honest advice. Agh, this is like a double-edged sword. If you be completely honest with him now, you might scare him off but save yourself the world of hurt me and many other women have gone through. If you really truly believe that he might come around, wait it out a little while longer and see what happens. Try to ease into it. My biggest mistake was trying to turn it into something it wasn't too soon (I think.) Good luck! Let me know what happens.
-Lauren
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Letter #8
These two letters came in the form of cards from someone I told about the project in person. The receiver, an older gentleman from central Mass. explained to me that a series of cards and gifts had been dropped off at his doorstep anonymously - sometimes with a gifts, like cashmere sweaters. He went on to tell me that his secret admirer would leave the cards on the doorstep, ring the doorbell, then bolt. He said he would run to the door to only see the cards and a paid of brake lights down his road. Here are two of the inscriptions from in the cards... pictures to match!
Loving You...Is So Damn Easy!
Hi Honey,
I can't get you out of my mind since I last saw you! I thought you would like this little gift and hope you think of me when you wear it. any time you want to put your shoes under my bed you can - permanently!! I see you when you don't even see me. I hope someday you & I will get together for good! Maybe tie the knot!! The next time I see you, I'll make sure you talk to me. Maybe even more if you have time!! Ha! Ha! You are such a hunk!! I just love you more then i can say!
Love & Kisses,
A Special Lover??
To Know You Is To Love You! I Know You Very Much!
Sweetheart,
Here is another card from me! I made a poem up for you and hope you like it. I will be seeing you soon - real soon! I made up my mind to meet you soon. I will call & get in touch with you some how!!
The time has come for us to meet
For you I am having restless sleep.
I think of you all the time
and hope that you'll soon be mine.
I hope that you will not be mad
for this will make me very sad!
You must ?Ponsant? to my only wish
and get rid of that other dish
Your wish is my only command
for I want you for my special man!
So, be patient and you will see
that you and I are meant to be!
Love you, Lover Boy-
??
Monday, March 30, 2009
Letter #7
Dear big love,
I was always lonely in movie theaters, right as the lights dimmed, until I met you. I can barely explain why, It doesn't make much sense, but as the audience disappeared, I acknowledged the lack of your presence (or existence) in my life. Then we met and I havnt felt it since.
I always thought snoring was pretty much the grossest noise you could subject your ears to. You know, that congested, cloggy kind of snoring, like the noise is about to wake you up from a deep sleep. When your loud snore became a comforting noise for me to fall asleep to, I realized I must have been in love.
I was at my parents house recently cleaning out my drawers and setting things in piles; use, save, and give aways, when I came across a box of old letters. You were always much better at love letters than I was. I found a painting of reindeers your sisters had made for me, a robot ornament. I wondered if the deterioration of our relationship, and the effort to be friends afterwards, had been too damaging to ever be in eachother's lives again. And I think about it every day.
Brooklyn, Female, 25
Letters of lost love always make me a little sad. I think almost everyone has experienced that feeling you get after you've let something great slip out of your life; when you start believing that you are truly meant to be together. I, myself, have fought against that feeling. This reminds me of a Citizen Cope song, Youtube "Sideways," this song represents my opinion on this letter and how I empathize with it.
-Lauren
I was always lonely in movie theaters, right as the lights dimmed, until I met you. I can barely explain why, It doesn't make much sense, but as the audience disappeared, I acknowledged the lack of your presence (or existence) in my life. Then we met and I havnt felt it since.
I always thought snoring was pretty much the grossest noise you could subject your ears to. You know, that congested, cloggy kind of snoring, like the noise is about to wake you up from a deep sleep. When your loud snore became a comforting noise for me to fall asleep to, I realized I must have been in love.
I was at my parents house recently cleaning out my drawers and setting things in piles; use, save, and give aways, when I came across a box of old letters. You were always much better at love letters than I was. I found a painting of reindeers your sisters had made for me, a robot ornament. I wondered if the deterioration of our relationship, and the effort to be friends afterwards, had been too damaging to ever be in eachother's lives again. And I think about it every day.
Brooklyn, Female, 25
Letters of lost love always make me a little sad. I think almost everyone has experienced that feeling you get after you've let something great slip out of your life; when you start believing that you are truly meant to be together. I, myself, have fought against that feeling. This reminds me of a Citizen Cope song, Youtube "Sideways," this song represents my opinion on this letter and how I empathize with it.
-Lauren
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Letter #6
Dear M,My mind has been spinning in a million directions lately, and I really appreciate you bearing with me. I know it is sometimes a struggle to see things from my perspective, but you continue to try, and I love you for that. I am the way I am because of the life that I've lived and everything that I've been through. In my heart, I know I am a better person for it. One thing I've learned is that communication is EVERYTHING. So, I wanted to share with you how I'm feeling with my birthday coming up and everything that has been on my mind...Twenty-three used to be "IT" for me. When I was young I used to dream about 23 as that critical "turning point" age. My parents were married when they were 23 and had me shortly after. When I was young, I didn't realize just how much one generation can change so much. "Ring by 23." What was I thinking? Actually, scratch that question. I know what I was thinking. I was a fourteen-year-old child who had fun planning out her life and picturing that big shiny ring with "diamonds that go all the way around." I can smile when I think about it because it makes me realize how much I've grown since then. Don't get me wrong, I am, and will forever be an old-fashioned girl when it comes to the big life/family stuff. And I am absolutely looking forward to someday being a wife and a mother. But it is relieving to know that there are no set timelines in life and that the dreams of my 14-year-old self will not fade if postponed a few years.What's interesting to me when I think about all of this, is that in my "life plan," I never really knew that the place that I am at in life exsisted. In my all-knowing teenage brain, life consisted of high school, graduation, college, graduation, marriage, family, and the happily ever after. And for some people, that may truly work. But what I didn't know was that there is somewhere between graduation and the happily ever after for ME time. The here and now, what I'm living day to day... Trust me, it took a lot of troubleshooting to figure out how important this is. I have a few amazing people in my life who helped me along the way to realize that I have control over the direction of my life and my happiness... and that includes you. You are one of the most easy-going, understanding and caring people I know, and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.I know I get worried about us and the future sometimes, and you remind me that everything will be okay. And everything will work out the way it's supposed to. That is what I didn't know when I was younger. I thought I needed a plan because I thought that's how life worked. I thought you planned it out, and then it happened. This is a life lesson that I am grateful to have learned by the age of 23. Things don't always work out according to "plan." In fact, the best things really do happen when you least expect it. Not everything is chance, no. We are in control of our own lives, but we also have to take it as it comes and know that everything will work out if we believe it will. I'm not sure if everything happens for a reason... some people believe whole-heartedly that it does. Regardless, I have to be okay with the fact that I'm not going to have all the answers. But I am going to continue down this road that I'm on with faith in the fact that right now, I am exactly I'm supposed to be... and that is happily and very much in love with you. Everything else.. in time, will follow.Love, K (23, female, Boston, MA)
I love this letter. I think it's incredibly necessary that attention is drawn to the subject matter here. "K" is discussing how she discovered that women actually have time for a life. We have time to establish ourselves as individuals, to climb the social and economic latter. We no longer have to pair off after college. We can follow our dreams, travel the world, get our Masters; our twenties are no longer dedicated to marriage and family as it was in for passed generations.
Also, like "K", I have always felt like I needed to have a big plan; a checklist I can carry with me throughout my life. Mine is a bit different than "K"'s though, more career oriented. Even so, our twenties are a time of exploration. They are the years that women fought for in our passed generations. It would almost seem like a waste to marry before 26 (I learned that couples who marry between 26 and 28 have the best chance of staying together).
I can see how this personal conflict "K" went through was intense. Realizing that the life you believed in as a child is actually a cloudy version of reality is hard; but our lives are long, and we have time to let it play out and let the chips fall where they may.
-Lauren
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