Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I Love You, Man... cont

I think this is a great discussion to bring up. This whole idea of getting married and why we really do it actually spawned the brilliant idea to launch Love Letters From Strangers.

About a month ago, on the very same freaking day, my Dad informed me that he is to get his second divorce and one of my best friends called me to tell me she got engaged. Talk about a day of mixed emotions.

Ever since I have been on a sort of quest to figure out WHY it seems so.... so.... customary to get married. You should see the rant I came up with: six pages, single spaced and most of it doesn't make sense. It also dealt with Tom Robbins's question "How do you make love stay" and considered "When I'm 64" by The Beatles.


I've been trying to think of reasons not to get married; and after reading these letters and thinking very very hard on the matter... I'm having trouble coming up with them. Besides the obvious reasons relating to divorce statistics, wrecked families, etc. If you really find someone who is special and amazing and who, at least at the present moment, you genuinely want to be with "forever," then why WOULDN'T you get married?

I love that Amber brought up the reason of taxes. It's actually hilarious. And I also want to refer back to Sex and the City.

So sure, the decision to get married calls for celebration. One where you can flaunt your love and happiness to family and friends. Why wouldn't you want to have a big party announcing you've found the love of your life? (Or at least, love of your life numero uno.) Unless your like me and cringe at the thought of your entire family in one room... maybe you don't feel this way.

But the thing is, what is marriage if it's not just a business agreement? Take Carrie's case (guys reading this... I'm really sorry that you have to listen to Sex and the City references. But unfortunately for you, this blog is run by two women; and for girls in their twenties... Sex and the City is the mother f-ing Bible. In addition, if you were smart, you would actually watch these shows. They explain EVERYTHING). Now, back on track. Carrie loves Big. Carrie moves in with Big. Big deal. Big move. Big relationship. But. What about when something happens? When you break up? There is the whole "what's rightfully mine" crap and the "dividing of the assets" crap. In my opinion, marriage is beginning to seem like a security blanket. Because really, who honestly wants to negotiate with an ex? Maybe marriage is just a way to prevent ourselves from getting screwed over. Maybe it isn't really about love and staying together forever. Maybe all it really is about is protection.

So when a guy's getting married and his best man asks him why he's taking the plunge, how many of them have a real honest to goodness answer? "Because I love her." Doesn't love fade? "She's the one." Hmm... divorce rates are up to 60%. "Because I'm getting old, fat, and bald and she still has sex with me," (haha.... I crack myself up).

That's my current stance on marriage. I'll expand on my theory after further scrutiny.

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