Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Letter #17

Hey sweetheart, how have you been? I know it has been sometime now that we have been apart...I would be lying if I said I did not miss you. It pains me that I have to be so many miles away from you, that I even have to write this instead of saying it to you as you sit by my side, but I guess that is something I have to accept. The job still is not going so well, I hate what I am doing and sometimes I wonder if I should change my career completely. I don't know what to do, everything seems so much easier when we are with each other. I hate that life is so complicated and there are so many obstacles along the way before you can be truly happy. But like I always said to you, being happy just to be should be the true creed....I'm trying. Whenever I'm really down I look at that picture of you when you were little, and I find a way to smile...you look so adorable with those chicken legs haha =). Ahh to be innocent again, and not have to deal with all this nonsense. Remember when we used to say we just wanted to run away together and start a new life, to just put it all behind and be completely content that we had each other. Maybe that's all we need. I envision that sometimes...it's such a serene dream...you in the garden planting flowers, me on the porch listening to the game on the radio with the rolling hills in the distance. Great dream, and then I wake up and my boss is in my face yelling at me and reality hits haha. One day we'll make it happen, I promise I'll be back....but for now....what's going on up there, how are classes and work going? Don't worry so much about school, everything always has a way of working itself out (and if it doesn't you can always wear the hat I gave you reaaal low at your desk and let your eyes wander.... like you don't do that already!) Last time we talked, you were kinda down and not yourself, you know it pains me to know you're not yourself...stay positive and go out! Make some new friends, try new things, show the world that beautiful smile of yours. You're going to be just fine....just go to Fairfield like we always used to do and think things through. It's not the same without you but...I go to the mill in town and sit by the waterfall sometimes because it's so beautiful and peaceful...just like our spot by the lake. Not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here with me. Stay smiling...I'll try to do the same. I love you with all my heart.
All my best,

I Love You, Man... cont

I think this is a great discussion to bring up. This whole idea of getting married and why we really do it actually spawned the brilliant idea to launch Love Letters From Strangers.

About a month ago, on the very same freaking day, my Dad informed me that he is to get his second divorce and one of my best friends called me to tell me she got engaged. Talk about a day of mixed emotions.

Ever since I have been on a sort of quest to figure out WHY it seems so.... so.... customary to get married. You should see the rant I came up with: six pages, single spaced and most of it doesn't make sense. It also dealt with Tom Robbins's question "How do you make love stay" and considered "When I'm 64" by The Beatles.


I've been trying to think of reasons not to get married; and after reading these letters and thinking very very hard on the matter... I'm having trouble coming up with them. Besides the obvious reasons relating to divorce statistics, wrecked families, etc. If you really find someone who is special and amazing and who, at least at the present moment, you genuinely want to be with "forever," then why WOULDN'T you get married?

I love that Amber brought up the reason of taxes. It's actually hilarious. And I also want to refer back to Sex and the City.

So sure, the decision to get married calls for celebration. One where you can flaunt your love and happiness to family and friends. Why wouldn't you want to have a big party announcing you've found the love of your life? (Or at least, love of your life numero uno.) Unless your like me and cringe at the thought of your entire family in one room... maybe you don't feel this way.

But the thing is, what is marriage if it's not just a business agreement? Take Carrie's case (guys reading this... I'm really sorry that you have to listen to Sex and the City references. But unfortunately for you, this blog is run by two women; and for girls in their twenties... Sex and the City is the mother f-ing Bible. In addition, if you were smart, you would actually watch these shows. They explain EVERYTHING). Now, back on track. Carrie loves Big. Carrie moves in with Big. Big deal. Big move. Big relationship. But. What about when something happens? When you break up? There is the whole "what's rightfully mine" crap and the "dividing of the assets" crap. In my opinion, marriage is beginning to seem like a security blanket. Because really, who honestly wants to negotiate with an ex? Maybe marriage is just a way to prevent ourselves from getting screwed over. Maybe it isn't really about love and staying together forever. Maybe all it really is about is protection.

So when a guy's getting married and his best man asks him why he's taking the plunge, how many of them have a real honest to goodness answer? "Because I love her." Doesn't love fade? "She's the one." Hmm... divorce rates are up to 60%. "Because I'm getting old, fat, and bald and she still has sex with me," (haha.... I crack myself up).

That's my current stance on marriage. I'll expand on my theory after further scrutiny.

I Love you, Man.... loveletters edition

So last night, I saw Jason Segel's latest step to becoming the country's hottest and silliest dude-bro in the movie I Love You, Man. I thought this flick would have compared to his earlier works in ranks of funnies, nasty-jokes and smacks at annoying girlfriends and exes but lucky for me, it only really filled in for the last of those three.

One part in the movie though, that I thought would be a valid point or idea to bring up here in this forum is the portion of the movie where Segel's character, Sydney and Peter (Paul Rudd's character, yes the hot brother from Clueless, I know!) are talking while picking out tuxedos for Peter's wedding and Syd pops the question, "Why are you marrying her?"

Like any other funny boy in this line of movies, Peter OBViously ends up basically saying he doesn't know. He later asks his finance, Zooey (who is played by Office alum, Rashida Jones) why they are getting married and how he and Syd had a chat. If there's one way to make your fiance feel pretty darn unloved two weeks before the wedding, I would say asking that question with a blank face darn near nails it!

But I guess whoever wrote this at times hilarious but mostly mediocre script was trying to get across a more important point - do we really know why we get married? If it's just for love, then why not just keep doing what you're doing? I think in Sex and the City once said, "If it ain't broke, don't marry it." Exactly.

In I Love You, Man's case however, this guy couldn't even give a serious or immediate answer and lucky for him and all fledging dudebros watching, his fiance couldn't give him a second to complete his statement or acknowledge that he may be on to something.

I'm not sure, it could be in me, enjoying my blissful relationship with ________. And by that I meant myself, but does it seem like the ones getting married aren't together before too long but those who choose not to get married are together forever. And people are always pressuring, "Well when are you going to get marrrried already?" like annoying little bratty kids... why?

If for taxes, I guess that is cool. I don't know a lot about taxes, so I can't really speak to the savings you are opened up to once you officially share your shit with someone else because a Justice of the Peace said you did.

I mean, do people really have a good reason for marrying each other these days? Or perhaps i should be asking this, is loving someone like, a lot, enough of a reason to take the plundge? It's not like if you're not married, you can only reach a certain height of love? Love is the same, married or unmarried, gay or straight... you get the picture. I think if you need a piece of paper, a cheesy photo album of pictures and a big-ass expenzive cake to prove it, your motives probably aren't where the little marriage angels intended them to be.

So, as you go out this-coming weekend to the box office to engage yourself in a cinematic adventure, way out the options carefully, as I have basically spoiled I Love You, Man for you. It's cute, but not near what I thought it would be. Plus it paints all chicks as either annoying, unable to hang and play sports or as brainless hotties. Ha...... great. - Amber