Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Letter #14

Female, 19, New York

Everyone said I could do better and after hearing it over and over, day and night, I didn’t know what to think. They all asked me where you were going with your flannel shirts and skull caps; they never believed me about the mind you hid modestly, the brain waves programmed especially for physics and chemistry. You could explain the world and its complexities to me. And you did, gently and patiently.

But beside your brains, there was your heart. Broken before you had a chance to fall in love right, fuller than full, and loyal to a soft and heavy heartbeat, it was something I could trust would be there every morning.

I’m sorry I left but I’m more sorry that I used the distance between us as my reason. It could have worked and I hope that one day it will. Until then, I feel lucky to have been loved by you and to you for letting me love you for what in retrospect feels like little more than a long weekend. I could not have done better, I never expect to, and I miss you. You were going exactly where I want to be.

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