Saturday, April 4, 2009

Love Letter #11

Dear D:
I have known you for fifty three (53) years! In all that time, I have never stopped loving you! Even though at times, I thought I could hate you! However there is such a fine line between love and hate, that the hate factor never really filtered in to my feelings of love for you!
In a week, we will be married for fifty (50) years! It doesn't seem that long, but time has a way of creeping up, to keep us in a reality check! I look at you and even though we have aged, we are not old, and I still see the face of young man! I only hope you see the face of a young woman when you look at me! You did say the other day, I still had a pretty face, so, I guess you still see something of my youth in me!
We have had our battles! Some worse than others, but we stuck it out and here we are today! We do not fight or argue as we did when we were younger! I admit to being at fault for some of the battles, but I usually had a cause...the children! I had to let them know that I loved them so much, I would fight for them. Oh, it was usually something small, like fresh crayon drawings on a newly wallpapered room, that you had worked so hard to finish , or the dog licking peanut butter off of the woodwork, where I had smoothed it on to cover toy car marks on the wood itself! The oils in peanut butter would cover a lot of scratch marks on the walls when the kids were growing up! Then again, remember the night our son pulled the tablecloth of the table with your supper still fresh on the plate and they landed on the floor! Oh the look on your face was priceless, but you got up and walked out of the house "to cool off".
Yes ,Love, we had minor incidences, and there were times when jealousy would crop up into our lives and doubt would be our enemy! An enemy that would soon recover and we would be on the road to fifty years once more!!! We had faith in each other, and sometimes, it's not so much love, as it is respect and caring.
When I came down with that terrible illness two years ago, where you and the "kids" were in great fear that I was dying and you took such wonderful care of me! I don't have many memories of being that sick, but I remember opening my eyes one day, to see you sitting by my bed and tears rolling down your cheeks. You did everything for me that I needed to have done! I couldn't dress myself with out your help. I had to sit in a wheel chair for weeks and then had to learn to use a walker and I am just now giving up my cane! IT was because of you and your love that I am where I am today!
The first night I was home after my nursing home stay, you put me into bed, lifting my legs and covering me. Then you got into bed beside me, and pulled me over into the safety of your arms and I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SAFE! For ten weeks , I lived in fear while others took "care" of me. But, now, I knew I would be alright!
One day in the nursing home,You promised to dance with me on our fiftieth anniversay and now I look forward to that one dance. It may take place in the kitchen, but I know we will have that dance.
Thank you for fifty three (53) of the best years of my life!
All my love.............J

I will be seventy (70) years old in a few weeks and my husband just turned seventy two (72) years old, As I mentioned in my letter, I have AGED, but I refuse to grow old! We were married on April 4, 1959!

Lets all give a hand to D&J for making love last for 53 years! With more than half of all marriages today ending in splitsville, this couple really makes you wonder what people are doing differently today versus what they were doing back in the day (on April 4, 1959 to be exact) to make a union between two people so different. I think maybe part of that secret, and this is coming from someone who is a) not married and b) hasn't been in a relationship for a whiiiile - but maybe its acknowledging that you're not always going to be head over heels for this person, maybe like J said, there is a little hate to making love so damn sweet.

Another thing that J touches upon, that I always kinda wondered about, is aging and what a person sees when they look at their partner as time wears on. I have known my mom for almost 23 years, and I guess when I look at her, for example (sorry, mom) I don't see how she has changed from when I was five - the way she looks and the image of her in my mind has changed with her over the years. But I can't help but wonder and shrug, when attraction may have some part in the way someone physically looks, does that affect things? That could be a fairly shallow question to ask, but I'm just curious. I would like to guesstimate that you find parts about that person that are deeper than how they look on the surface that that takes over physical attraction, but is that how it is? I have no clue but maybe there is someone out there reading this now with my answer. If you reply to this, I could potentially post your response.

In your experience, how does aging affect love or a marriage - if it has any impact at all?

- Amber

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