Thursday, March 26, 2009

Letter #3

Its hard to write this now, knowing that our paths are distinctively and almost certainly set apart from each other….When we first spoke you made an off-hand comment that I was too good for you, and that’s really not the case- we were too perfect for each other. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if we had never met and I replay those months over and over and I cant seem to see them without you. I’m not sorry for what happened, or anything we did, but I’m so incredibly sorry that was the end of our story.

I want you to know that I’m doing well, and that I think of you often. I miss the way you made me feel so safe in the most reckless of moments. Life with you was like living on the edge without the fear of falling. I don’t know if you knew it then, I like to think you did, but boy did I love you & I loved you so completely… but ever since that fall the difference between our two worlds only grew, with you over there, and me way over here. I wish I could save you. It hurts me to know that some things are bigger than me, bigger than us, I guess…

I want you to know that I hope you figure things out- I hope you figure out whatever it is that keeps holding you back and holding you down and just for once let love be bigger than it all. I picked up the pieces at the end, and I’ve kept going with my life just as I’m expected to. But there are mornings that I’ll step outside and I have this sort of hope in my heart that one day as I open the door you’ll be standing there waiting. Ill be waiting.

I’m sorry I don’t call or write, I’m afraid of what it might mean if I do. I’m stuck in this place where I know were bad news, and where we were meant to be.

My love follows you always.

Does anybody else’s heart get teary-eyed and heavy when they read this first part? I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but I know I have definitely met someone in my life who, through all the weird differences we had, seemed perfect for me. Because our paths probably will never cross again, that is essentially the end of our story, although everyday I have a little hope that it’s not.

I know where you’re coming from ‘Western Mass.’ This letter really hit home for me and made me feel a little bit sunnier in the idea that I’m not the only one who ever felt this desperately connected to someone so far away physically. I’m lucky enough to be in a place where I can touch base with my far-away-person from time to time, but we had a perfect frame of opportunity to be together I think, and maybe because I blew it and tried to act tough, I think I’ll only be able to look back fondly and hope he too can “figure things out - I hope you figure out whatever it is that keeps holding you back and holding you down and just for once let love be bigger than it all.”

To be honest, you should call this person though, and tell them how you feel and what you hope for them. Sometimes, I think a love that powerful is too strong to keep bottled up inside.

On that note, you should now go out and rent ‘ONCE.’ Make sure you read about ti on wikipedia or imdb or where ever, because the story is awesome in the film (perfect for each other, paths crossing at the wrong time) and also the story about the actors Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova in real life is too cute. Whether you’re in love or out of it, a hopeless romantic or a brash single like me, this movie will have you feeling brighter about any kind of love. - Amber

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